That’s Not An Egg.
You might think you know us. Through the rose tinted lens of Facebook, we might appear to have it all together, with our perfect little backyard birds in their fancy custom coop, enjoying delicious fresh eggs every morning without a care in the world. But you would be wrong. You see, our family harbors a deep, dark secret. Beneath the pleasant veneer lies a wicked, loathsome presence so vile and disturbing that we never dared speak of it. Until now. Now, it’s time to come clean. Our chickens poop in their nesting boxes.
I feel better already.
Yes, –it happens. Daily we replace the soiled wood shavings with fresh, and daily the hens execute numero dos in the very same spot where they drop their huevos. Which means the poop sometimes gets on the eggs, which is gross. Explaining the unsanitary ramifications of this habit to the hens has had no effect whatsoever. And scolding them only seems to make matters worse. So each day, in utter humiliation, we set about the inexorable task of separating the eggs from the excrement. Careful not to let the neighbors see us, we snap on latex gloves, pick up the poop with our hands, transport it across the yard in a bucket and empty it out like a servant with a chamber pot. We never bargained for this. All we wanted was some backyard chickens and some fresh eggs!
So, with the stress tearing at the very fabric of our marriage, we decided to seek professional help: we Googled it. It turns out we are not alone! Who knew so many families struggled with this issue? Thanks to the world wide web, we now have hope. According to reliable strangers on the internet, this condition can actually be reversed. Although it’s mostly anecdotal, there is strong evidence that some chickens can be cured of their nest pooping lifestyle. But it won’t be easy. There’s work to be done…